Tuesday, February 19, 2008

New anti-phlegm or mucus product just introduced

Did not sleep well. Woke up with some mucus or phlegm going on. So I decided to try a new drug from a leading Pharmaceutical in Canada. Seems to be working quite well. Here are the details: [emphasis mine]

Sinus Congestion? Try our new product: Phlegmaway.

Why suffer nasal congestion and not be able to taste your food, or
breathe properly. Unclog those nasal passages with Phlegmaway.

Pharmaceutically proven to deliver the right dosage through the nasal
cavities so that it dissolves phlegm as it goes, finally exposing the
network of blood vessels and entering them within minutes, delivering
a dosage of various drugs that quickly penetrate the blood-brain
barrier, stimulating various dendrites and heightening neuron
activity leading to sharper focus.

Medicinal Ingredients: Lysurgic Acid**, Peyotl
Non Medicinal Ingredients: Cayenne, Gingko Biloba, St. John’s Wort

Warning: Possible side effects include dementia, schizophrenia, and
demonic possession due to the perforation of the astral protective
matrix allowing sudden awareness of the lower astral plane and all
the denizens therein. Minor side effects that have been reported
include headaches, vomiting, projectile diarrhea, stroke, rage,
insanity, Out of Body Experiences, and epileptic seizures.

** Lysurgic Acid, or LSD, is a drug that was introduced by the CIA into various cults and experimental groups in order to test the effectiveness of LSD vis a vis mind-control.

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